Help! I accepted a job - can I change my mind?

Wow, am sure glad I came across this blog and hope you can help me! I have a slightly different problem in that my employer promised me and announced to my team my internal promotion, then decided to open it up internally, and has now opened it up to external candidates, all the while telling me that it’s a shoe-in for me! Well, this is, to my mind, a path I don’t want to go down in terms of credibility, ethics, and legality. What do you suggest? Thank you!

I notified both our CEO and our SVP Sales that another company approached me with a job offer (I did not seek out this position). I told each of them that I would like to stay and asked if they could arrange for me to get the same experience in our company. Both of them said they didn’t want to lose me, and the CEO offered to accomodate my request. As a result, I turned down the other position and that company offered it to someone else. Less than 2 days later my CEO announced publicly that there would be layoffs. I was one of 30 people laid off (most of my counterparts and those with less seniority and revenue kept their jobs). Instead of being dishonest, they should have encouraged me to accept the other position. Turns out they knew about the layoffs for months. Do I have any legal recourse? Thanks for your help!

Its funny how everyone is talking about the ethics of the employee and the responsibility of the employee to the employer. First of all I feel like these people don’t take into account there are people that NEED jobs. If I got offered a job without health insurance because I need to feed my child I’m not going to turn it down. If a better job comes along somehow two weeks/ a month later with health insurance I will sure as heck leave without even feeling guilty. Employers will not hesitate or feel bad when your worked yourself to the bone for them and they lay you off to so the top big wigs don’t have to take a pay cut.

I Cannot Help seeing a job seeker like me with no income looking for work, being granted a job, refusing other jobs, and after that, the people who granted the job go back on their word and so the job seeker ends back to step 1 without a job.

So is THAT FAIR??

I have just had an interesting issues happen and would like some assistance. I received an offer from a company I interviewed with, but had decided not to hire me. They had hired their first choice and upon doing so another employee had decided to give his notice so they extended a secondary offer to me. The offer they extended was monetarily pretty good and benefits, etc seemed to be inline. Then a week after I accepted I received an offer from a larger, more secure company, monetarily (wage) is equal, but there is a much better chance for bonuses, stock options, etc and their insurance is better. After looking into the insurance issue with the first company, they had recently changed so I did not get as much information as I would have liked, but eventually got the website and contact information and checked it out. Turns out that the coverage for myself and my family is sub-standard and will really make things hard on us. I am thinking that rescinding my acceptance is prudent in this case because of the lack of up front information. Any opinions?

I have been interviewing at serveral places with top choices in mind. I delcined several my least favorites and kep the top two. I was offered a position at Company B with comparable salary and nice location while wanting Company A but had not heard back from. I made my follow up calls but had a deadline with company B to let them know my answer. Having not heard anything from Company A but my dealine, I accepted Company B’s offer on a Friday and on Monday Company A called. I know that is bad to accept and offer and back out. I have not begun work at Company B. Is it ok to back out? or how bad is it to do that. I know that I am the one who has to be happy with my job and look after myself. Company B was a second choise and I know I would learn alot but I have felt I could learn and grow more professionally with Company A. Help!

Again you get a job and then change your mind?? it doesnt make sense why taken at the first place why wasting the employer time and taken someone else opportunity?? Is like you go to a nice restaurant you sit and order a nice tilapia with broccoli while the waiter is serving you u said I change my mind I want steak instead?have ever heard such thing? Oh what a weird world we live grow up!!

Hi… I just came across this site. I’m in a situation where my family and I recently relocated to a different state. After almost 3 weeks here, I have found a job but not something I want to do nor feel comfortable with. (We really needed jobs so we took whatever was available). I wasn’t crazy about my last job but it was comfortable and I have worked there 11 yrs. This new job is at a brand new dept store that won’t open until a few weeks from now. I have applied at other places that was similar to my old job even though I promised myself to not have that type of job again. Regardless, I find myself missing my old job because it was a comfortable working environment. Basically, I’m in a position where I know I want to quit as soon as I get a call for an interview in the future knowing I will get the job due to my experience. No calls yet but how do I go about making an excuse to miss work if I am just getting started on training and my schedule was just set for the coming week. In case I get a call for an interview, what do I say to my current employer? Also, if I were accepted by a company and took that new job, would I have to add the current short lived job on my resume?

Two seeks ago my aunt resign from her job with the state of AZ because of a plan to move, now her plans change and wants her job back. They wont allow her to get her job back again or even apply for it. She’s a case worker with the social services.

I need help!!! I’ve resigned from my current job after 3 years due to stress from traveling away from home for 200+ days each year. I’m to start a local position with no travel in 5 days. It is a position that is O.K. but a little below my skill levels. The main reason I have accepted is because it gets me off the road and has the potential to grow significantly. This is all good. Now the bad…Today I get not one, but three calls regarding much better positions. Two of the three did preliminary telephone interviews that went very well. Now I’m a mess, do I go ahead and start the other job next week or do I back out of it and hope one of the other positions does indeed work out. Of course if they don’t I may end up unemployed with a family of 5 to feed. Anybody else ever in this situation??

It’s interesting reading about what people consider to be “ethical” here. It’s more ethical to do what you enjoy than to force yourself to do something you don’t because someone says you have to uphold their code of ethics for them.

I’ll be one of those that maintains that *any* organization will not think twice about letting you go if it suited them for any reason. The workplace has changed dramatically and “loyalty” is more defined by doing a good job at a company while you are there.

I imagine most who are trying to condemn someone who would rescind their acceptance to a new job to take a better one are those who would be inconvenienced by such an employee–such as a hiring manager. In other words, they have a selfish interest in trying to shame someone into staying.

Get a grip on reality… I have seen and been part of many situations where the employer cut people or recined job offers or promosed something and never delivered…. All in the name of what is best for the business… The employee,no matter if you have been employeed for 1 hour or 25 years, must look out for them selfs first, second, and last… No company today will look out for your interests.. no matter what they say… look at the actions and if you see a kind act by an employer then it is an isolated incident done by a lone ethical manager… If you are offered your dream job after two weeks accept it and schedule a start date… then just quit your current job… no expanation is required… just say you do not feel you fit the culture… do not tell them where you are going or what you will be doing… they will very quicly forget about you…

A lot depends on if the jobs are similar. I am currently in a situation where I took a job with company A that will require perhaps 2 months of travel per year and is nearly an hour from home. Then I get an offer from company B a half hour from home with no travel. I have worked at A for 2 weeks, but the differences are too much too keep me there because I know I would not feel committed to A, I would feel trapped.

The employee has to look out for their best interest and the company has to look out for their best interest. That is the way markets work efficiently. If anyone starts to take into account “feelings” then it throws the system out of whack.

I am currently in a similair situation. I accepted a really good job offer form another company. WHen i went to resign from my current company, my boss wouldn’t accept my resignation and offered me money comparable to the other company. Now i am in a delima since i already signed the offer letter to the other company. I have no idea what to do

Annie here: I think you have to go with the other (new) company. If you stay where you are, your boss will think it was just for the extra money — and the perception that you can be so easily “bought” won’t be good for your future career there.

Susan: If you believe they deliberately misled you or lied to you about the job or any of your responsibilities, get out now and get another job. Shady management never gets less shady.

I am presently in a situation that is difficult. I accepted a position with a company. I then attended a mtg with the other people in my position. I discovered that the territory I was to cover was different than I was told, as well as some of the aspects of my job were more dangerous then I had anticipated.(visiting nurses). I did espress my concern which was understood but no changes were made and became very unsure, to the point i began looking again. The company did change the territory, however, my initial concerns have stuck with me. I have since been offered two other positions. I am to start in 4 days and am feeling awful about wanting to not accept at this late date.They have waited for me to begin, but I thinnk the mtg was good in a way becuas eit alerted me to things i had not anticipated.
How do i handle this? any advice quickly would help

Annie here: Hi, Susan — Since they did change your territory in response to your concern, it sounds as if the employer is trying to accommodate you — a good sign! Why not go ahead and start the job you accepted? There is a tremendous shortage of nurses in this country right now, as I’m sure you know, so I doubt that you will have trouble finding another job if you decide later on that this one is just not right for you. But for now, why not give it a chance? Readers, what do you think?

Sometimes once we already signed a contract with any company and worked for few weeks. And we quit and moved to other company, it might make us look bad since new company can think that if this person gets another better job, he/she will move again, no certain standpoint. Sometimes we may have to accept what we have already chosen, even it’s not the best.

I can’t believe all these people who claim the company would never do that to the employee. Did you happen to read the comment from V. Burchard? That was exactly the situation! Companies rescind job offers all the time for various reasons.

And all this talk about common decency to the employer? These days most large corporations in America have zero loyalty…literally zero. They would cut any employee loose if it would save them a dime, whether it’s after 2 weeks, or 20 years of service. That’s standard practice.

Loyalty is something that is earned over time. Why should you be obligated to show loyalty to a company you don’t even work for yet? They’d screw you over in a second if it was in their best interest. Employees should be polite and professional, but have every right to do whatever is in their own best interest.

After months of searching for a job in my field while working in another, a good friend (and former roommate) recommended me to his firm, doing closer to what I wanted, but not exactly. After several interviews, I got an offer, which I accepted. In the time between my acceptance and starting the job, I learned about an opening at my dream firm doing my dream job. I interviewed and received an offer, immediately, because I told the firm I had accepted another job. Before accepting the dream offer, I called my friend. I then called his boss to rescind my acceptance of the firm’s offer. I explained that the new opportunity was a dream for me, and I couldn’t pass it up, though I knew it was unprofessional of me to have interviewed after accepting his offer. He was not pleased but had to accept my decision. Thankfully, my bait and switch did not harm my friendship. Now, nearly 10 years later, I still have my friend, and I am still in the dream field, but I have moved on to a new dream job, at my choice.

I had new jobs offered, a few wanted after accepting & signing on. I kept my word and refused the other jobs.
I do not regret my decisions. Yet at least 1 job might have been better.
But what happens if the dream becomes
a nightmare? What goes around comes around.

I have an MBA and have friends who have been in this situation. To me, it comes down to your personal ethical code. If you think you were interviewing someone, and you would be OK with someone who did the same to you, then go ahead and leave. I think it’s irrelevant to suggest that a company wouldn’t hesitate to let you go if they needed to. Life is full of instances where someone will do the wong thing for their own personal gain. That doesn’t make it right.

My advice to people who are in this situation is to let the potential employer that’s dragging their feet know that they have a deadline to make a decision. If they can’t respect that or suggest that you can just quit the new job, doesn’t that raise warning signs about how you can expect them to treat you at some point in the future?

When someone is taking a new job out of school, the difference in what one employer offers vs another often seems large. But in the long run those differences tend to wash out. I believe that the person who follows an ethical path will more than make up the difference in the long run through less time out of work, better promotions, and the greater financial opportunities that are to be had working with companies whose ethical standards are high like your own.

terrible advice..ever heard the expression..”you leave the dance with the one that brung you” where’s the integrity of the new employee..where is the loyalty to the company that was quick to recognize your talents and follow through with a job offer in a timely manner. I’d love to read the resume’ for the third job application.

I had a job offer that seemed a litle odd; half in salary half in Per diem but I accepted the offer over the phone. After talking to some collegues and friends I turned it down a week before I was due to start. I had several people tell me it was not legal to offer such a salary and that I can run into IRS trouble. Maybe Annie can comment on this. When I notified my current employer that I was leaving in 2 weeks vice the 30 days they could care a less if I left before my 30 day notice but then they have about a 60% turnover this year alone.

Whatever happened to the ethics of personal responsibility? Once you have accepted the position you should follow through on your commitment. It would be a different story if one or two years later a better opportunity comes along, but in this case once you have made a decision you should stick with it.
At any rate, with the “dream job” recruiting process taking so long, in all probability their top candidate did not accept offer.

I accepted and offer of employment, signed the agreements, turned down other offers and the day I showed up I was advised the position had been eliminated.

In truth, a person with more experience showed up at the last minute and I was cut down. I have been advised that for an employee to sue, you better get enough to live on for the rest of your life, because major employers run litigation checks as part of their backgrounding and litigation risks do not get hired.

I did not get any severance, relocation assistance or anything. Just the door. So if it is sauce of the goose, it ought be the same for the gander. MBA’s have no ethics on either side of the management desk.

Good point, TR in Colorado! The pool of talent in most businesses is smaller than you may think, and gets more so the higher up you get. So you do run into so many familiar faces over the years, and if you have treated them badly in the past, hmmm! As my old boss used to say, “Be nice (considerate, thoughtful) to everyone on your way up — because you will see them again on your way down.”

Quote:
While many companies don’t treat employees as well as they should, I’ve never heard of a company saying to an employee after two weeks, “Oh, sorry, but our first choice just became available, so we’re firing you and hiring him.”

WOW - that is the best way to look at this. Can you imagine an employer doing that to an employee? Why should it be any different? The job market is A LOT smaller than you think. If you burn bridges this early in your career, it will come back to haunt you. I can’t beleive the number of people I keep coming across again and again that I used to work with 5 - 10+ years ago.

I think it shows a lack of integrity if one leaves a company after recently accepting a position…just for a better opportunity. If a person isn’t ready to say “yes” and stick with their firm for a reasonable amount of time (whatever that is) then they shouldn’t say “yes” in the first place. I know it’s a tough position to be in, but you have to live your business life in a way that people are right to trust you and rely on you.

I was in an odd situation. I had two employment offers, both equivalent financially, on e with a much better company (the good old days). After various delays from my first choise, who said that I had the job, if it exists. My first choise was waiting for signed contracts from the customer. So I took my second choice offer. Two weeks into my employment, it was announced that they were being bought by a private equity group, and significant layoffs were likely. I thought about my situation for 500 milliseconds, called the first employer to see if the job was still open. It was, so I gave my two weeks notice at my current job. My thinking was that I would rather resign and reduce the need for headcount reduction, hopefully save someone else when I had another offer. The current boss completely understood, given the situation.

I can’t help but find it ironic that an MBA grad would actually have to ask this question. Surely somewhere in your business education they discussed contracts??? Understanding that most states are “at will” employment no one is forced to work anywhere.

I was glad to see your article address the ethics of leaving co-workers in a lurch. Within the past couple of years, I’ve had a couple of employees depart with the attitude that a notice is merely a disposable formality regardless of employment agreement provisions. In both cases, there was no sense of obligation to clients or to co-workers.

Are business schools not stressing ethics anymore? Has our culture just become so casual that there is no sense of obligation to others? Or were these just a couple of misguided individuals? I’d sure be interested in anyone else’s thoughts and experiences.

Annie here: Actually, B-schools are emphasizing ethics more than ever — but clearly, not everyone is listening in those classes…

I once started working for a firm. I was very wary about working for them but couldn’t pin it on any one thing. I was amazed at the “Yes, we should be doing that…but we don’t” attitude from their management. It was a privately held firm where the president was the founder’s son. He was never there and was consumed by his outside philanthropic pet projects. No strong leadership, no work to advance the market unless a new competitor showed up, no drive. I got a call from a larger company. They made an offer and 7 weeks later I was no longer there.

What did I learn? Five & half years later my employer was bought out. I had the option of relocating to stay with them in an ill-defined role. I was very wary just like before but couldn’t pin it on any one thing. I turned them down.

A recent MBA grad myself, I faced the same situation. I hadn’t started work at my number two, but I had already signed and mailed my employment paperwork when my number one choice finally called. Their interview process was simply longer. Unfortunately, my B-school career center informed me that if I reneged on the offer that I accepted, I would no longer be welcome to use their career management services. Furthermore, it was implied that I would be black-balled in this tight-knit business community with the phrasing “A choice like that is yours to make - but people in this community will remember that and it will limit your options later.”

So I took the $10,000-$15,000/year income delta, but left the door open at number one. I let them know that they were my first choice, but that I had a contractual obligation. They understand, and we will be in touch in a year to see if another opportunity arises.

Leaving a job after two weeks for something better is inappropriate. I was finishing up a job hunt and had a few offers coming in with set deadlines (nothing high pressure, the companies gave me two weeks to decide). A third company called me as the deadline approached and wanted to meet with me. Although we spoke by phone, the CEO’s schedule didn’t permit us meeting face to face in time. I explained my impending deadlines for a decision. Their HR person suggested, “why don’t you accept their job then meet with us and you can always quit later.” In my mind, accepting a job like that is doing so in bad faith. When you accept a job, you make a commitment, and unless the job is not as advertised you should give it a fair shot and not simply leave the moment you get a better offer.

While many companies don’t treat employees as well as they should, I’ve never heard of a company saying to an employee after two weeks, “Oh, sorry, but our first choice just became available, so we’re firing you and hiring him.” We would consider that highly inappropriate on their part, and consequently should behave in the same way.